Happy 4th of July

There was a time in my life when I looked forward to holidays, any holidays. Now things have changed so much that I just look forward to sleep. Never knowing what state my husband is going to be in, not knowing if he will start with "I had so much potential with my life" or will it be some paranoid thought that makes no since, I just never know. I try to ignore it, but he is never satisfied with that, now he wants to engage me in conversations that there is no way to win. Conversations that will lead to a fight, tears, yelling. I know that he can not help it, and I try to separate him from the disorder but it is hard. This is a guy that goes to extremes and I never seem to be on the right side of that extreme. One time it will be health and exercise but when I go to buy him something healthy he'll blow up and say that is not what he wants. Then maybe it is God, and he'll go to church several times a week, talk about God, read his Bible to the exclusion of everything else and now he tells me that the Bible is all made up. Not only is that Bible just made up stories, but it was made up by white people to be able to dominate over the under-privileged, minorities and unintelligent. It is a way for pastors to be able to convince their church to give more money to support them to be able to drive around in fancy cars and live in fancy houses. I don't know, I don't get him at all. This is a guy that knows his Bible, actually became and ordained minister and now believes in God but not the Bible or Jesus or anything like that.