To Med or not to Med

Today, like so often happens, my husband thinks about going off his meds. First he says that they are not helping, but I can tell they are, then he complains that they are killing him. He accuses me of trying to slowing kill him. I love this man, and I know he hates taking the medication, I don't blame him really, but don't know what to do. I know he is better on the meds, even if he doesn't see it. It scares me really that he may decide not to take his meds on his own and then we are back to square one. But because I love him so much, I will research natural alternatives, maybe there are other ways and then he can slowly wean off the meds, but not unless we find another way. I pray that we can find that way, I pray that he will hang in there. It is such a crap shoot trying to get him balanced and to keep him that way, and I know that this will be his life and for that matter my life forever. But I take it one day at a time, and today was a good day. May there just be more good days than bad days.

I watched Julie and Julia last night, or was it the other way around, which ever it inspired me to write more. Who knows someday, someone may just be interested in what I have to say. And if no one ever is interested, at least I have my thoughts. Today was a good day. Things are going well with my husband, he is on his medication and it seems to be helping, although we are tweaking it a bit to get the right dosage. Speaking of which, I forgot to go pick up his new prescription after I got off work. Well, better do that tomorrow. How do you live with someone who is bipolar? Well first and foremost you have to love the person 100 percent. And accept them just as they are. They are the only ones who can change themselves, you can not do it for them. But on top of love, you must and I repeat must be self confident, strong and able to keep going, even when you get no help or encouragement from the other person. See he can't encourage you because, he can't encourage himself. You will have to learn to act as if you are not married, while maintaining the marriage at all times. You will be the only thing holding the marriage together and that has to be ok with you. It is not easy, believe me, but it is possible. There are days and nights that I think that I can not go on, but I love my husband and know that beyond the disease, there is a wonderful person.